I got an interesting feedback:
Greetings!
Here's a female blogger from USA called Violent Acres. This blogger who dedicates her focus on the topics of real estate, financial independence, entrepreneurship, as well as relationships, human responsibility and other social topics; is particularly known for her confrontational and opinionated style. Some admire her tough-mindedness but others criticize her for being too arrogant and say she's mean and likes to start arguments. Truth to be told, she can be insulting, but sometimes such political incorrectness she displays is refreshing. She's a good writer too.
Here's one of her articles concerning marriage <http://www.violentacres.com/archives/313/marriage-is-a-series-of-peaks-and-valleys> . She offers her own interpretation as per why few people can get married nowadays and make it work. I send it to you because I can see that it deviates from your interpretation. Basically she says: people hope for a fairytale. They envision a lifetime of being completely in sync with another person. But then it's over. Because there's no fairytale, she says. Marriage is a series of peaks and valleys and most pairs panic when they hit the first valley. And it's a slippery slope to divorce. She says valleys are temporary and you need to come to grips with it in order to make marriage last. When her marriage hits a valley, she focuses her energy and effort away from the relationship. She thinks that it's impossible for couples to be together all the time. Sometimes some degree of separation is necessary and it's ok to do your own thing.
How valid do you think this point is? Has she figured it out fine or does she betray that she still may not be in the perfect relationship? You've been together for 3 years and it seems you've never had valleys at all. Also, what connection would you assume is there between her aggressive and militant attitude; and the possible quality of her marriage? Not that I expect some authoritative truth from you, but your perspective and insight is definitely intriguing. And I'm always interested in synthesis of different ideas and perspectives that intrigue me.
Take care!
My answer:
well, this Violent Acres seems to have very high self-esteem. As she regards ordinary things very special. In spite of all the gas-station talks, people still marry each other. And tend to live together, for years, in spite of all those valleys and ups.
And I admit that I did share Violent Acres's opinions, for years (well, almost everybody does, Desperate Housewives, the soap opera is all about it!), that marriage is a series of ups and downs, and you have to accept it. That the secret is how to live with it, all those ups and downs. How to cope with that marriage like a war.
Until I met Irja. And my opinion changed. I felt far more wiser than I was before, during my previous marriage that lasted for 13 years and was a perfect series of ups and downs, anger and passion, some good time together, and then weeks spent apart. And now, after 3 years together with Irja (and we have been really together all the time, 24/7), I know that there is another way. That it is possible to find a person who you can have good time with. Who you love to be together with (even without alcohol, drugs, antidepressants, painkillers and other hallucinogens that help make life seem happier). I think this is love. The feeling that gives you wings. For years. That one can be happy and free to be himself. And that this can be reality, not a kind of imagination, where people pretend to be happy and love each other, although they do not.
Well, and fairy-tales don't appear from nothing. They are about what people really dream of. And dreams coming true, isn't it the force that motivates the whole mankind?! The dreams do come true. But in love it doesn't happen very often. And the question is not, how to cope with unhappy marriage, but how to find the right person to have a happy marriage. And that is a tough thing, as this is not taught at the universities and you cannot find a book that writes about it. Isn't it strange?! That the most important thing, that life, love and happiness is all about, is somehow like a baby left unattended. And sometimes that baby manages to survive, but mostly not. And this is regarded as normal.
And what I am really sure in, is that it is better to live alone than with person that you really do not love, that you don't want to be together with. Because then you have a lot better chance to find the so-called right person. That suits you. And do not listen to all those mums and dads who start to speak about quick marriage and kids! They usually do it only to save their own unhappy marriage, by creating another (unhappy) one (well, wedding of a son or daughter definitely IS a huge UP, as described by Violent Acres).
Another reason behind willingness to create unhappy relationships, besides lack of info and "long-lasting tradition", seems to be love for fighting, struggle, war. Lots of contemporary marriages are true battlefields. With winners and losers, those who survive, prevail, and those who drop and die. And the losers shouldn't even be among the fighting couple, they can be children. And usually they are children who suffer because of unhappy marriage. They often become sick, are nervous, have asthma or allergies.
But children usually do not drop, they have the possibility to escape. Leave home. The one who drops, sooner or later, is one of the fighters. And the other is the "winner". And the loser, lets say the husband, is later remembered as a "hard-working man", good father", "but didn't make it", etc.
Yeah, but what a life this is?! To live and die in a battlefield. Ok, one might hope that there will be a better one after death, somewhere on the edge of the clouds. And that the harder the life is (i.e. the bigger the suffering), the better the reward in afterlife. Like tons of young naked girls, all ready to fuck, that muslim men seem to hope. Well, who knows. But such beliefs make life in the present world quite pointless. And isn't this kind of masochism the main reason of the worldwide wars?! I am pretty sure that people who are happy with their lives, who do not become soldiers in their own relationship, can not accept war on a larger scale.
laupäev, 17. mai 2008
reede, 16. mai 2008
There is always a way out
In Estonia, where lawyers cannot advertise themselves (what is strange), there are always ways to break that rule. Some lawyers flirt with media, the others co-operate. Like the office of Paul Varul, and you have all you want:
An advertisement of Paul Varul Law Office in Aripaev.ee.
An advertisement of Paul Varul Law Office in Aripaev.ee.
European gas cartel gathers speed in Estonia
As oil price balloons, European gas prices grow. And what is strange, in east-european countries, Estonia being among them, the prices of diesel, the raw product have surpassed those of refined petrol. Beer has become more expensive than vodka. In spite of the fact that diesel prices have been lower than gas for decades and are still low in most European countries:
Source: AA Roadwatch.
As one may notice, the eastern european countries have bitter life. But they have had 50 years of good life, communism, at least.
Source: AA Roadwatch.
As one may notice, the eastern european countries have bitter life. But they have had 50 years of good life, communism, at least.
We also recommend: Aqua hotel in Rakvere
We recommend a brand-new Aqua hotel in a quiet town of Rakvere, about 75 miles to the east from Tallinn, that has perhaps the best whirlpools among Estonian hotels, with affordable prices, spacious 2-room suites starting from about 300 USD per night.
A cosy hotel that is attached to a spa and a water-center, with several saunas. But not crowded.
The bed is ok, but there are no cupboards on the sides of the bed. And the view is quite nasty, onto a car parking lot, even from the best rooms. And bathroom is under-lighted. And according to cool Nordic traditions of service, don't expect any concierge to help you. The good thing is that the rooms have big windows, so there's lots of natural light! And the reception is very friendly.
And, the internet connection, through cable, is very fast, in comparison with the average global hotel standard.
Here are some pics of Aqua suite:
Bedroom with a tiny flat-screen tv.
Bathroom.
Shower.
A large bath.
The other room.
The only bad thing about iphone
is that it works only in some networks. That is a shame, as having a good product doesn't necessarily mean you should lick somebody's ass.
Though, I got a good medicine for the disease, it is not courage to be afraid of the market.
iPhone (left) as compared to Nokia E60.
Though, I got a good medicine for the disease, it is not courage to be afraid of the market.
iPhone (left) as compared to Nokia E60.
Back from the USA!
Irja in Rosewood's brand-new Peachtree mansion in Atlanta, GA.
Text IN ESTONIAN: Saabusime just Ameerikast ning kõik on endine. Harju Maakohus on endiselt loll, sest keelas Kadri Kõusaare filmi seitsmeks aastaks. Raputage mind, kui ma eksin, eks. Oma vanemate pedoskandaali avalikustanud Liis Haavel on endiselt pogris. Vello, nagu Dallases kuulsime, ka, sest jalutas ise menti. Komissar Koppelmaa ei ole mulle enam helistanud, nii et küllap sai kõik, mis tahtis. Külm on ka endiselt, aga nagu meile räägiti, oli olnud väga soe vahepeal. Tore Justin on meile viidanud oma ingliskeelses blogis. Märkinud ära, et jäi seksikuses alla Fred Jüssile, kes on ju tõesti väga seksikas mees, nii et häda pole midagi.
Ameerikas oli armas. Minule meeldis kõige rohkem Texas ja eriti Dallas; kui meil siin Eestis veel aknaid sisse pillutakse, siis lähme sinna elama. Ostame Dallase ligidal ranchi ja redutame seal. Blogime, kui paha on Eesti. Oleme njummid. Innole meeldis ka Texas. Texas on üldse kõige ehtsam Ameerika. Käige kindlasti järgmistes linnades: Houston, Austin, Dallas, San Antonio. Ja siis Georgias käige Savannah's ning South Carolinas käige Charlestonis. Põhja kohta ma ei tea, sest meie põhjareis tuleb hiljem, aga eelmainit linnad on küll avastamistväärt. Ja ärge trügige mitte LA-sse, vaid minge hoopis hulga armsamasse San Diegosse. Kui tahate parimat hotellielamust, siis muidugi peate minema LA-sse, täpsemalt Beverly Hillsi, sest ega Bel Airist paremat hotelli põle. Hiltonites ööbimine on nagu loteriimajutus; osad on head, osad keskmised, osad väga halvad. Parima Hiltonielamuse saime meie San Antonio Palacio del Rios. Targem on siiski Conde Nasti hotelle mööda sõita; sealt leiab ka taskukohaseid, aga luksuslikke külalistemaju, mis jäävad, tõsi küll, suurtest kohtadest pisut eemale. Aga mis siis! Näiteks Jacksoni Fairview Inn-is, kus öö maksis vaid 200 dollarit, laulsid akende taga linnud!
Reisida on tore, aga miski hetk tüütab ära. Kui kodinaid on juba liiga palju kogunenud. Meil oli juba viie kohvri jagu asju. Minu ostetud raamatud siis peaasjalikult. Inno juba naljatles, et varsti peab Finnair minu raamatute tarvis eraldi lennuki appi võtma... :). Finnairi tahaks seekord küll kiita. Teenindus oli supersõbralik ja soe. Tellisime enne reisi gluteenivaba toidu ja selgus, et see oli palju luksuslikum kui tavalise reisija toit, nii et soovitan kõigil tellida gluteenivaba toit. Näiteks tuuakse suur kauss vaarikate, mustikate ning põldmarjadega!
Ärasõidueelne New York oli taas kurb ja traagiline. Ma kohe ei saa vaadata neid hobuseid, kes peavad seisma Central Parki äärsetel tolmustel, undavatel tänavatel. See on loomapiinamine!! Ööbisime küll armsas hotellis nimega Plaza Athenee, mis asub Madisoni uulitsal, otse Park Avenüü kõrval, ja seal meeldis meile väga. Armas, soe ja sõbralik teenindus. Hotellil on Conde Nast Johansensi soovitus ning New Yorgi kärast eemale tõmbuda soovijale on see tõeline oaas.
Hääkene küll, toimetame siis edasi. Ja kirjutame vahetevahel eesti keeles ka.
Almost the same text IN ENGLISH:
Arrived from USA and everything's the same. Estonian court system is still stupid. Kadri Kõusaar's prize-winning film "Magnus" was banned for seven years. Our judges have become experts of arts, you see. They say what is fit to print, write, paint and film. And that's not because our judges are intelligent. They are in fact plain stupid and that's another secret of our highly corruptive society. These judges, for example chairwoman of Harju Court Helve Särgava are the judges that presided during the soviet times and when we became free, they retained their jobs because back then, in the 90s we didn't have qualified judges. And so soviet judges still rule and like in soviet times, they are experts of censorship. Soon they'll start banning books and issuing fatwas, i presume. We'll get rid of helvesargavas when they retire, that's another ten years to suffer. Then, hopefully, young and educated judges will take over. So far, expect more censorship.
As for Liis Haavel, she's still in jail. Her husband Vello Loit is in jail too, because, apparently, they committed their "crimes" together. In truth Vello stood up to Liis's parents and that is why Liis's parents, prominent members of the Reform Party, want to destroy him and bring Liis and her kid back home. Lets see how their saga continues, we'll keep an eye on it. One interesting aspect of Liis's case and corruption of Estonian judicial system is that her case was investigated by her abusive mother's friend Krislin Riisalu. Like in Iraq: Saddam was hanged by the supporters of Moctada al-Sadr. Swift!
America was lovely. I loved Texas and especially Dallas, i'll go and live there if our life here in Estonia will become impossible. Buy a ranch and enjoy the Texan sun. I also loved San Antonio and Houston. Texas is beautiful but so are Savannah in Georgia and Charleston in South Carolina. And San Diego is much more beautiful than LA. You can't find a better hotel though than Bel Air in Beverly Hills. We stayed there for one night and were treated like royalty. Go there if you want to be spoiled. Inno even got gluten-free bread from the restaurant when he asked. They remembered his name and continually referred to him as "Mr Tähismaa". Hay Adams in DC is nice too, we were upgraded to the room with a view of the White House and the staff was attentive, but still, the hotel didn't have the refined luxury of Bel Air. Rosewood's Mansion on Turtle Creek in Dallas and brand new Mansion on Peachtree in Atlanta were okay; if you are a fan of superattentive service, then Peachtree is the place for you. You'll have a personal butler which we, actually, found quite unadventurous and boring but that's a matter of choice. Hilton is not what it used to be, too many disappointments. In Santa Fe we were given one of the worst rooms though Inno is a Gold VIP. Trust Conde Nast, it's the best.
We flew there and back with Finnair, business class, and this time the service on board was outstanding. The flight attendants were warm and friendly and the food was good. We ordered gluten free food and that was even better than the ordinary food, so be allergic!
New York was sad and tragic... again. I saw tipsy dames trying to stop taxis, tired and despairing horses tapping their feet against the hard concrete, men with suits looking at their watches, Anna Wintour having lunch with some man near Ritz Carlton, beggars emerging as the streets grew dark. People trying to stay glamorous in the dirt. One truly fascinating place was Plaza Athenee, a quiet hotel at Madison Avenue where we stayed. It's Conde Nast-qualified and truly a unique experience. I'd compare it to Colon in Barcelona, my favorite hotel in the world.
Right, that's it for today. I think i'm too jetlagged to carry on. Stay true!
neljapäev, 15. mai 2008
About Estonian media market, a quick overview
A question came about Estonian media market and i give a quick overview:
The overall market is about 200 mio USD (per 2007).
There are 2 large media groups, working together and having a combined 90% of the share: Eesti Meedia, owned by Norwegian Schibsted A.S.A and Ekspress Group, owned by founder Hans H. Luik plus some tons of private investors, as the company was listed last spring.
These 2 have close relationship, they have mutual companies, Ajakirjade Kirjastus (Magazine House) that publishes almost all the magazines in Estonia. And SLÕhtuleht (Evening Paper) that publishes the leading newspaper, a tabloid. The publications they both own separately are Postimees, the leading quality daily newspaper, and Eesti Ekspress, the leading tabloid weekly. Plus some internet sites they develop separately. And they both own the Estonian largest printing houses and delivery systems. This is a large monopoly, that has close connections to government, the leading Reform Party. Mart Kadastik, the head of Eesti Meedia is close friend to Andrus Ansip, the prime minister and head of Reform Party. There is a tendency that media doesn't citicize the leading coalition, lead by reform party.
Then there is the niche publication, financial daily Äripäev, published by Bonnier Group from Sweden. And some niche magazines published by Finnish and Lithuanian companies. And a myriade of small niche cultural publications published by Estonian state.
TV market is lead by Schibsted's Kanal 2 (Channel 2), state television and TV3, that belongs to Modern Times Group (Viasat).
Radio market is lead by Schibsted's Kuku, Elmar and Uuno network (that Hans H. Luik sold to Schibsted), then state radio and some small niche channels.
The overall market is about 200 mio USD (per 2007).
There are 2 large media groups, working together and having a combined 90% of the share: Eesti Meedia, owned by Norwegian Schibsted A.S.A and Ekspress Group, owned by founder Hans H. Luik plus some tons of private investors, as the company was listed last spring.
These 2 have close relationship, they have mutual companies, Ajakirjade Kirjastus (Magazine House) that publishes almost all the magazines in Estonia. And SLÕhtuleht (Evening Paper) that publishes the leading newspaper, a tabloid. The publications they both own separately are Postimees, the leading quality daily newspaper, and Eesti Ekspress, the leading tabloid weekly. Plus some internet sites they develop separately. And they both own the Estonian largest printing houses and delivery systems. This is a large monopoly, that has close connections to government, the leading Reform Party. Mart Kadastik, the head of Eesti Meedia is close friend to Andrus Ansip, the prime minister and head of Reform Party. There is a tendency that media doesn't citicize the leading coalition, lead by reform party.
Then there is the niche publication, financial daily Äripäev, published by Bonnier Group from Sweden. And some niche magazines published by Finnish and Lithuanian companies. And a myriade of small niche cultural publications published by Estonian state.
TV market is lead by Schibsted's Kanal 2 (Channel 2), state television and TV3, that belongs to Modern Times Group (Viasat).
Radio market is lead by Schibsted's Kuku, Elmar and Uuno network (that Hans H. Luik sold to Schibsted), then state radio and some small niche channels.
An intriguing letter again about relationships and my answer
Such a letter dropped into my mailbox:
Hello again.
This time I write in English. This is addressed to both Inno and Irja. If you prefer to put it up to your blog instead of private feedback, then feel free. There won't be anything too personal anyway.
Just like I said before, I find your story of finding each other inspiring. However, I'm not 100% content with your interpretation as per why do so many couples break up or their relationships end up in utter ruin, or even what does it really take to find a perfect relationship. I don't mean to discredit anything you've said, just challenge it. I'm not saying I'm right and you're wrong. Instead, I believe that younger and older perspectives can be complementary and result in a synthesis of ideas and views.
First there's an assumption that most couples fuck up because they're not compatible with each other at all. That might be the case with a fair amount of them, but that may not always be so. There are loads of couples that break up even though the two are perfectly fine for each other and very compatible and suitable. And the split does not even have to be acrimonious! That is often contributed by external circumstances. Like what if you're a soldier in a remote war? Your girlfriend will then stay in your home country and there's no hope in the near future that the two of you could spend significant amount of time together. You as a soldier could remain alive and kicking in the warzone, but unfortunately you remain separated from those you care about for a long time. This can take a toll. I know two American people online who broke up because of this. It was a tough decision for the parties involved. This is just an example.
Then there are internal problems. The other couple that I know broke up amicably not too long ago, and while the woman was having a tough time in her life, the split was also to do with a shortcoming the man perceived to have. The man in question said he has found it difficult to read non-verbal cues. He thought he was terrible at non-verbal communication which he stresses is extremely important in order to attract a mate. His ex-gf pretty much admitted him she spent three years trying to learn a language spoken by one person only. They're still good friends and supportive of each other, but unfortunately, the man feels he's not a great boyfriend at all. Which leads me to the next point.
You have said that everyone needs to find a right person for them in order to have a fulfilling relationship. See, there's again a problem I see. Like I said, the guy with non-verbal communication problems doesn't consider himself a great boyfriend. The shortcomings in non-verbal communication are an impediment. And what if there are people who even fail with verbal communication? Now that's a double whammy! Mental shortcomings, financial shortcomings, as men with less money tend to be the least successful with women. And what about people who are downright EVIL? Who the hell could be a suitable partner for Ingrid Tähismaa, huh? The closest thing to an ideal world that is even remotely possible is that if all the Innos and Irjas of this world get together and live in a perfect bliss ever after and then all the villains like Ingrid and Mart Kadastik get together and torture the hell out of one another till they both die or wind up killing each other. Ergo, the only reason I believe you two fell head over heels in love was that you were already fantastic human beings: smart, talented, ambitious, conscious and capable of caring. Just that the previous relationships brought out the worst in both of you. Only the best can reap the greatest rewards of love. The rest are either too incompetent, lacking in several areas or just plain horrible persons. I guess you believe that everyone deserves to be loved. I tend to suspect that love must be deserved.
I know what you're thinking. That I probably must be disillusioned and unhappy. That's not the case. I simply don't blindly believe in the sort of idealism that shines through your web diary. [As per happiness, even though this deserves a topic on its own, I'll say that] I have a whole lot different interpretation about happiness than most people. They view happiness as a goal. You imagine an ideal world, or ideal circumstances in which you would be happy, and then strive to get there. So happiness is always in the future. Instead, I consider happiness as a skill, or a practice,something you work on internally. There's only one time to be happy: right now. The more skilled you get at being at peace and feeling good right now, the worse the world can get and you can still be happy. Having said that, happiness does have requirements. The enemy of happiness is not dire external conditions, but stress. Stress is absolutely bad. I can't imagine being at peace with myself if I was stuck in debt, for instance. And I can only imagine that your various tribulations (like your battle against Ingrid and her henchmen and henchwomen) you've experienced during the last couple of years have been stressful as well. But it's probable your threshold of stress tolerance could be higher than for some of the other persons.
Still, if we assume that everybody has a right partner somewhere for them or at the very least, a person is well-rounded enough to deserve a mate, then what's the best way for the two of them to meet? Yours was a classic case of love in first sight. Is that the best way to discern whether or not to pursue a relationship with someone? That when you have to put in too much effort into influencing someone to like you (which is called flirting in our society) and only after a few dates one would like to commit to you, then is that a sign that the two may not be compatible. Love at first sight versus love only after 100 sights, I'd like to know where it's at?
Pretty longwinded eh? In case you want to post it on your blog, feel free to quote whatever you please.
E.
And my answer:
as I have already defined in my Theory of Absolute Match (I defined it in Estonian, my mothertongue, but whoever wants, can translate it into English), when 2 people find they are perfect for each other all the time, and they like to be with each other, i.e. love each other, then all the problems will be solved. And happiness can be defined as time spent with a beloved person. According to my experience.
You described a situation, whereas the man was in the army. But why should he be there if he loves his wife? Or the other way round, if the woman loves her husband, why doesn't she stand next to him in the war?
About non-verbal clue. I am sure that everybody has somebody that translates everything, even the non-verbal, in the same way. The question is, how to find this person. And my answer is: you should be strong enough to be yourself (everybody is capable to be himself), not pretend to be somebody else, only then you can find the right person.
And I do not believe anybody is just evil, evilness comes from dissatisfaction, and lack of information. A woman who lives with a man she doesn't like to be with, whom she doesn't love, becomes evil some day.
And I am pretty sure there is somebody for Ingrid Tähismaa, but first she should be herself, a true country girl! But as long as she pretends to be a city-chick, she will fail. And thus the enemy of happiness is not stress, but pretending to be what you are not. And this is the reason people are stressed: they want to be somebody else. And very often they want even their boy- or girlfriends to be somebody else. This kind of dissatisfaction comes from mismatch in the relation. The couple should find the right person for them.
I still believe, that as Condoleezza Rice and other decision-makers read our blog, and become happy, the world will be a much better place to live in. I am sure that if a person lives together with somebody he really loves, there is no room for conflict or war.
And I do not think you are unhappy. Simply you are confused, as the present world consists of zillions of unhappy pairs and marriages. The irony of nature is that even an unhappy couple can have kids, and thus multiply unhappiness. And very often the religion supports this kind of unhappiness, describing a kind of happiness possible only in very far future, in the so-called afterlife.
And I do not believe in skill. I regarded myself as extremely skilled, I read through tons of books about relationship, gathered experience, but I never became happy in my previous marriage. It stayed like a relationship with a prostitute, love for money. That is nonsense, some kind of perversion.
And the best way to meet your partner is the willingness to be yourself. Act and think in the way you are. You feel is right. Everybody is unique, and your potential partner as well. I have mentioned that smell is one thing you can rely on. You cannot use parfumes, as this is one of the biggest scams a man has ever invented, parfume is a lie, that helps to masque your true essence. My relationship with Irja didn't start from the first sight, we found it was pleasant to be with each other and that was all. And we were, at this moment, the ones we really are. Not pretending. And yes, as far as you start to flirt and fight, there can be no love. We stayed together from the first day we met. And have been apart only a single day, while I was the head of communications in the ministry of finances and had to organise a seminar in outskirts a couple of years ago, and after that, for almost 3 years we have been together 24/7. And love and appreciate each other even more. Every day we find things that we have similar. Every day brings positive surprises. And we have joked, that in those 3 years we have spent together more of our daytime than we did with our previous partners, for even 15 years.
Hello again.
This time I write in English. This is addressed to both Inno and Irja. If you prefer to put it up to your blog instead of private feedback, then feel free. There won't be anything too personal anyway.
Just like I said before, I find your story of finding each other inspiring. However, I'm not 100% content with your interpretation as per why do so many couples break up or their relationships end up in utter ruin, or even what does it really take to find a perfect relationship. I don't mean to discredit anything you've said, just challenge it. I'm not saying I'm right and you're wrong. Instead, I believe that younger and older perspectives can be complementary and result in a synthesis of ideas and views.
First there's an assumption that most couples fuck up because they're not compatible with each other at all. That might be the case with a fair amount of them, but that may not always be so. There are loads of couples that break up even though the two are perfectly fine for each other and very compatible and suitable. And the split does not even have to be acrimonious! That is often contributed by external circumstances. Like what if you're a soldier in a remote war? Your girlfriend will then stay in your home country and there's no hope in the near future that the two of you could spend significant amount of time together. You as a soldier could remain alive and kicking in the warzone, but unfortunately you remain separated from those you care about for a long time. This can take a toll. I know two American people online who broke up because of this. It was a tough decision for the parties involved. This is just an example.
Then there are internal problems. The other couple that I know broke up amicably not too long ago, and while the woman was having a tough time in her life, the split was also to do with a shortcoming the man perceived to have. The man in question said he has found it difficult to read non-verbal cues. He thought he was terrible at non-verbal communication which he stresses is extremely important in order to attract a mate. His ex-gf pretty much admitted him she spent three years trying to learn a language spoken by one person only. They're still good friends and supportive of each other, but unfortunately, the man feels he's not a great boyfriend at all. Which leads me to the next point.
You have said that everyone needs to find a right person for them in order to have a fulfilling relationship. See, there's again a problem I see. Like I said, the guy with non-verbal communication problems doesn't consider himself a great boyfriend. The shortcomings in non-verbal communication are an impediment. And what if there are people who even fail with verbal communication? Now that's a double whammy! Mental shortcomings, financial shortcomings, as men with less money tend to be the least successful with women. And what about people who are downright EVIL? Who the hell could be a suitable partner for Ingrid Tähismaa, huh? The closest thing to an ideal world that is even remotely possible is that if all the Innos and Irjas of this world get together and live in a perfect bliss ever after and then all the villains like Ingrid and Mart Kadastik get together and torture the hell out of one another till they both die or wind up killing each other. Ergo, the only reason I believe you two fell head over heels in love was that you were already fantastic human beings: smart, talented, ambitious, conscious and capable of caring. Just that the previous relationships brought out the worst in both of you. Only the best can reap the greatest rewards of love. The rest are either too incompetent, lacking in several areas or just plain horrible persons. I guess you believe that everyone deserves to be loved. I tend to suspect that love must be deserved.
I know what you're thinking. That I probably must be disillusioned and unhappy. That's not the case. I simply don't blindly believe in the sort of idealism that shines through your web diary. [As per happiness, even though this deserves a topic on its own, I'll say that] I have a whole lot different interpretation about happiness than most people. They view happiness as a goal. You imagine an ideal world, or ideal circumstances in which you would be happy, and then strive to get there. So happiness is always in the future. Instead, I consider happiness as a skill, or a practice,something you work on internally. There's only one time to be happy: right now. The more skilled you get at being at peace and feeling good right now, the worse the world can get and you can still be happy. Having said that, happiness does have requirements. The enemy of happiness is not dire external conditions, but stress. Stress is absolutely bad. I can't imagine being at peace with myself if I was stuck in debt, for instance. And I can only imagine that your various tribulations (like your battle against Ingrid and her henchmen and henchwomen) you've experienced during the last couple of years have been stressful as well. But it's probable your threshold of stress tolerance could be higher than for some of the other persons.
Still, if we assume that everybody has a right partner somewhere for them or at the very least, a person is well-rounded enough to deserve a mate, then what's the best way for the two of them to meet? Yours was a classic case of love in first sight. Is that the best way to discern whether or not to pursue a relationship with someone? That when you have to put in too much effort into influencing someone to like you (which is called flirting in our society) and only after a few dates one would like to commit to you, then is that a sign that the two may not be compatible. Love at first sight versus love only after 100 sights, I'd like to know where it's at?
Pretty longwinded eh? In case you want to post it on your blog, feel free to quote whatever you please.
E.
And my answer:
as I have already defined in my Theory of Absolute Match (I defined it in Estonian, my mothertongue, but whoever wants, can translate it into English), when 2 people find they are perfect for each other all the time, and they like to be with each other, i.e. love each other, then all the problems will be solved. And happiness can be defined as time spent with a beloved person. According to my experience.
You described a situation, whereas the man was in the army. But why should he be there if he loves his wife? Or the other way round, if the woman loves her husband, why doesn't she stand next to him in the war?
About non-verbal clue. I am sure that everybody has somebody that translates everything, even the non-verbal, in the same way. The question is, how to find this person. And my answer is: you should be strong enough to be yourself (everybody is capable to be himself), not pretend to be somebody else, only then you can find the right person.
And I do not believe anybody is just evil, evilness comes from dissatisfaction, and lack of information. A woman who lives with a man she doesn't like to be with, whom she doesn't love, becomes evil some day.
And I am pretty sure there is somebody for Ingrid Tähismaa, but first she should be herself, a true country girl! But as long as she pretends to be a city-chick, she will fail. And thus the enemy of happiness is not stress, but pretending to be what you are not. And this is the reason people are stressed: they want to be somebody else. And very often they want even their boy- or girlfriends to be somebody else. This kind of dissatisfaction comes from mismatch in the relation. The couple should find the right person for them.
I still believe, that as Condoleezza Rice and other decision-makers read our blog, and become happy, the world will be a much better place to live in. I am sure that if a person lives together with somebody he really loves, there is no room for conflict or war.
And I do not think you are unhappy. Simply you are confused, as the present world consists of zillions of unhappy pairs and marriages. The irony of nature is that even an unhappy couple can have kids, and thus multiply unhappiness. And very often the religion supports this kind of unhappiness, describing a kind of happiness possible only in very far future, in the so-called afterlife.
And I do not believe in skill. I regarded myself as extremely skilled, I read through tons of books about relationship, gathered experience, but I never became happy in my previous marriage. It stayed like a relationship with a prostitute, love for money. That is nonsense, some kind of perversion.
And the best way to meet your partner is the willingness to be yourself. Act and think in the way you are. You feel is right. Everybody is unique, and your potential partner as well. I have mentioned that smell is one thing you can rely on. You cannot use parfumes, as this is one of the biggest scams a man has ever invented, parfume is a lie, that helps to masque your true essence. My relationship with Irja didn't start from the first sight, we found it was pleasant to be with each other and that was all. And we were, at this moment, the ones we really are. Not pretending. And yes, as far as you start to flirt and fight, there can be no love. We stayed together from the first day we met. And have been apart only a single day, while I was the head of communications in the ministry of finances and had to organise a seminar in outskirts a couple of years ago, and after that, for almost 3 years we have been together 24/7. And love and appreciate each other even more. Every day we find things that we have similar. Every day brings positive surprises. And we have joked, that in those 3 years we have spent together more of our daytime than we did with our previous partners, for even 15 years.
Broken windows
So we're back and received the first "good news". Our house in Tartu, my grandfather's house we've been restoring to make a small literary café has been vandalized. Again. Someone had broken the windows. Thrown a stone? A champagne bottle? Don't know but it makes me sad. Sad to live in Estonia, be an Estonian. Free speech is not appreciated here. And if you speak out, you better face the consequences. Bitter consequences, that is.
So now it is the windows. A while ago it was the mailbox. Someone, ahem, how shall i put it... dropped his or her fecal into it. I don't know which of our articles caused this kind of outrage but i'm pretty sure it had something to do with our blog. I've lost interest in blogging in estonian because most comments that we receive are cruel, defamatory and just plain stupid. I feel that i become smaller and dimmer just by reading them. And so i've decided to stop writing in estonian. Well, maybe not entirely because i do feel guilty in front of our fans who do not understand english but here i have to follow my heart's advice. I just can not be proud of being an estonian now.
I don't even know if i want to live in our country where you get punished for speaking your mind. I'd much rather live in Texas. I love Dallas. I love that "don't mess"-attitude. Then again, i love Barcelona too, for its dirty bohemian air. My friends in Barcelona have asked me how i can live in Estonia, they themselves fleed a loooong time ago. Lived a couple of years in Lisbon and then moved on to Barcelona because to their mind even Lisbon was not free enough. But i don't understand how you can live in Estonia, they shrugged. My lil' patriotic heart protested then that oh no, we are just fine, people will change, we'll change them. Well, we tried hard but the sad, tragic truth is that you can not change people who do not want to change. A slave might not be particularly happy at the sight of the first rays of sun on his first day of freedom. Or even his first years of freedom. There's resentment. American blacks have been free for almost a half of a century now but they still carry resentment, they still bear a grudge. Take reverend Jeremiah Wright for instance who kind of wrecked Barack Obama's campaign, or so they say. He has no love for America. When i listened to the old reverend, i kind of felt for him. I felt that there was a former slave who'd waited for his moment to become a master so impatiently and now that he had the chance to actually become one, through his friend Obama, he overreacted and almost ruined it for the blacks to become masters in a country where they had once been slaves.
We, estonians, can identify with American black people because we too were virtual slaves in our own country when we had to join the USSR. We had it worse though because we had been masters of that country and that added to the shame, a shame that has become unbearable, now that we're free and able to contemplate it. We blame the russians although these ordinary russian working men and women who we treat like second-class-citizens had nothing to do with the occupation. They didn't kill our grandparents. Maybe their grandparents did kill our grandparents, but i think that the times when you were right to blame father's sins on his son are well and truly over. A great part of my father's family was slaughtered by the soviets during the 40s, my father's cousin was thrown into the fire while still alive, my father's uncle's family was shot because the uncle had given bad vodka to the russian soldiers, my grandfather was put on an animal wagon and taken half way to Siberia from where he had the luck to escape and come back home, my father was imprisoned for 8 years in Vorkuta for hiding a resistance fighter in his apartement. Men of mother's kin were mobilized into soviet army and their graves are unknown... There's more but I don't carry any hatred for the russians. My father told me that when he was in a prison camp, his best friends were the russians. Even he did not hate the russians. He taught me that there are animals among all nations.
There are an awful lot of animals among estonians too. The Bronzenight reignited our hatred for the russians because they reacted violently against our government's decision to remove the Bronzesoldier. In America i met some estonians who'd fleed there from the soviets when they were little kids and they said good, serves them right. Our president Toomas-Hendrik Ilves is one of these estonians. He does not understand Estonian history because he looks at it with a perspective of a runaway slave. He's just like a little boy who's managed to avoid the beating and now shakes a fist at the beater. I'll show you!!
Estonians who fleed the soviets during the 40s did not become free. They became runaway slaves. They had it better than, say, for example, my father who had to try hard to get himself accepted into Tartu University when he came back from Vorkuta, he was almost 30 then, but they, the slaves that had run, lost their identity and connection to The Story. Their book was burned, their thread was cut. They can never consider a russian a friend because they have never had any russian friends. So they had it better, somehow, because they lived in a free world but they could not shake a slave out of them. Just like American blacks have not been able to shake slavery out of them. President Ilves said to Suomen Kuvalehti that he does not want to talk of the russians on the day of our independence. Why? Can't russians as part of our nation be included into the celebrations? His words sound like a slave saying that he does not want to talk of his former master on the day of his great escape.
I think that you become truly free only when you'll be able let go of the categories slave-master, only when you understand that you don't have to flee in order to be free because freedom is innate. You only become a slave if you let someone enslave you, if you submit yourself to the will of others. I think it would be good for us, estonians, to have one russian as a friend. For Toomas-Hendrik Ilves i think it's crucial to have a russian friend. Dimitri Klenski, anyone? Maybe you could even teach him some russian?!
The windows are still broken and i think that there'll be more broken windows. We can mend them but for how long?
So now it is the windows. A while ago it was the mailbox. Someone, ahem, how shall i put it... dropped his or her fecal into it. I don't know which of our articles caused this kind of outrage but i'm pretty sure it had something to do with our blog. I've lost interest in blogging in estonian because most comments that we receive are cruel, defamatory and just plain stupid. I feel that i become smaller and dimmer just by reading them. And so i've decided to stop writing in estonian. Well, maybe not entirely because i do feel guilty in front of our fans who do not understand english but here i have to follow my heart's advice. I just can not be proud of being an estonian now.
I don't even know if i want to live in our country where you get punished for speaking your mind. I'd much rather live in Texas. I love Dallas. I love that "don't mess"-attitude. Then again, i love Barcelona too, for its dirty bohemian air. My friends in Barcelona have asked me how i can live in Estonia, they themselves fleed a loooong time ago. Lived a couple of years in Lisbon and then moved on to Barcelona because to their mind even Lisbon was not free enough. But i don't understand how you can live in Estonia, they shrugged. My lil' patriotic heart protested then that oh no, we are just fine, people will change, we'll change them. Well, we tried hard but the sad, tragic truth is that you can not change people who do not want to change. A slave might not be particularly happy at the sight of the first rays of sun on his first day of freedom. Or even his first years of freedom. There's resentment. American blacks have been free for almost a half of a century now but they still carry resentment, they still bear a grudge. Take reverend Jeremiah Wright for instance who kind of wrecked Barack Obama's campaign, or so they say. He has no love for America. When i listened to the old reverend, i kind of felt for him. I felt that there was a former slave who'd waited for his moment to become a master so impatiently and now that he had the chance to actually become one, through his friend Obama, he overreacted and almost ruined it for the blacks to become masters in a country where they had once been slaves.
We, estonians, can identify with American black people because we too were virtual slaves in our own country when we had to join the USSR. We had it worse though because we had been masters of that country and that added to the shame, a shame that has become unbearable, now that we're free and able to contemplate it. We blame the russians although these ordinary russian working men and women who we treat like second-class-citizens had nothing to do with the occupation. They didn't kill our grandparents. Maybe their grandparents did kill our grandparents, but i think that the times when you were right to blame father's sins on his son are well and truly over. A great part of my father's family was slaughtered by the soviets during the 40s, my father's cousin was thrown into the fire while still alive, my father's uncle's family was shot because the uncle had given bad vodka to the russian soldiers, my grandfather was put on an animal wagon and taken half way to Siberia from where he had the luck to escape and come back home, my father was imprisoned for 8 years in Vorkuta for hiding a resistance fighter in his apartement. Men of mother's kin were mobilized into soviet army and their graves are unknown... There's more but I don't carry any hatred for the russians. My father told me that when he was in a prison camp, his best friends were the russians. Even he did not hate the russians. He taught me that there are animals among all nations.
There are an awful lot of animals among estonians too. The Bronzenight reignited our hatred for the russians because they reacted violently against our government's decision to remove the Bronzesoldier. In America i met some estonians who'd fleed there from the soviets when they were little kids and they said good, serves them right. Our president Toomas-Hendrik Ilves is one of these estonians. He does not understand Estonian history because he looks at it with a perspective of a runaway slave. He's just like a little boy who's managed to avoid the beating and now shakes a fist at the beater. I'll show you!!
Estonians who fleed the soviets during the 40s did not become free. They became runaway slaves. They had it better than, say, for example, my father who had to try hard to get himself accepted into Tartu University when he came back from Vorkuta, he was almost 30 then, but they, the slaves that had run, lost their identity and connection to The Story. Their book was burned, their thread was cut. They can never consider a russian a friend because they have never had any russian friends. So they had it better, somehow, because they lived in a free world but they could not shake a slave out of them. Just like American blacks have not been able to shake slavery out of them. President Ilves said to Suomen Kuvalehti that he does not want to talk of the russians on the day of our independence. Why? Can't russians as part of our nation be included into the celebrations? His words sound like a slave saying that he does not want to talk of his former master on the day of his great escape.
I think that you become truly free only when you'll be able let go of the categories slave-master, only when you understand that you don't have to flee in order to be free because freedom is innate. You only become a slave if you let someone enslave you, if you submit yourself to the will of others. I think it would be good for us, estonians, to have one russian as a friend. For Toomas-Hendrik Ilves i think it's crucial to have a russian friend. Dimitri Klenski, anyone? Maybe you could even teach him some russian?!
The windows are still broken and i think that there'll be more broken windows. We can mend them but for how long?
kolmapäev, 14. mai 2008
One interesting question and my answer
We got such feedback:
I would like to ask for some advice from you, Inno, as a reputable journalist. Hopefully it isn't too much for you to bother. You have fiercely criticized Estonian media and you wrote recently that Estonia is a media-populist state in which media kisses the asses of corrupt authorities as I have understood you. And you have criticized the department of journalism in the University of Tartu, lead by Marju Lauristin. Let's say I aspire to become a journalist. I reside in Tartu and thus it is quite logical I would apply for media studies there this summer. Would you suggest me not to do that? That all those who graduate from UT, their creativity, rebelliousness or simply a bit freethinking tendencies are squashed, they are drilled as obedient comformists, cowardly brown-nosers and corrupted sellouts, who start whoring those whoever have power and influence? That it is impossible to study journalism in Estonia, and be a journalist, without losing solid values and personal integrity? Or is it better to learn and practice on your own, read specialised literature? Or try to study abroad? Or should I drop the idea to become a journalist? That the Estonian media is a hellish quicksand that swallows anyone even halfway decent and then spits them out as media whores?
And my answer:
first, many thanks for feedback.
What concerns journalism, then I suggest to smell the air in UT journalism studies, at least, for broadening your mind. But I advise you to study journalism abroad, let's say in Finland, that has good journalism schools, especially in online media, like the one in Tampere. Learning and reading on your own is the most efficient and pleasant way of obtaining knowledge, but nobody really gives you any certificate for that.
You shouldn't drop the idea of becoming a journalist, as it is a good career alternative for those with restless mind and keen curiosity. Who doesn't tolerate routine. And I do not believe, that the described situation in Estonia will last forever. The Lauristin compound will fall apart one day, new people come in, especially those, hopefully, who have studied abroad. Tartu can still become a good journalism school one day. And Estonia a state with strong journalism. And strong traditions of democracy.
I would like to ask for some advice from you, Inno, as a reputable journalist. Hopefully it isn't too much for you to bother. You have fiercely criticized Estonian media and you wrote recently that Estonia is a media-populist state in which media kisses the asses of corrupt authorities as I have understood you. And you have criticized the department of journalism in the University of Tartu, lead by Marju Lauristin. Let's say I aspire to become a journalist. I reside in Tartu and thus it is quite logical I would apply for media studies there this summer. Would you suggest me not to do that? That all those who graduate from UT, their creativity, rebelliousness or simply a bit freethinking tendencies are squashed, they are drilled as obedient comformists, cowardly brown-nosers and corrupted sellouts, who start whoring those whoever have power and influence? That it is impossible to study journalism in Estonia, and be a journalist, without losing solid values and personal integrity? Or is it better to learn and practice on your own, read specialised literature? Or try to study abroad? Or should I drop the idea to become a journalist? That the Estonian media is a hellish quicksand that swallows anyone even halfway decent and then spits them out as media whores?
And my answer:
first, many thanks for feedback.
What concerns journalism, then I suggest to smell the air in UT journalism studies, at least, for broadening your mind. But I advise you to study journalism abroad, let's say in Finland, that has good journalism schools, especially in online media, like the one in Tampere. Learning and reading on your own is the most efficient and pleasant way of obtaining knowledge, but nobody really gives you any certificate for that.
You shouldn't drop the idea of becoming a journalist, as it is a good career alternative for those with restless mind and keen curiosity. Who doesn't tolerate routine. And I do not believe, that the described situation in Estonia will last forever. The Lauristin compound will fall apart one day, new people come in, especially those, hopefully, who have studied abroad. Tartu can still become a good journalism school one day. And Estonia a state with strong journalism. And strong traditions of democracy.
Üks küsimus ja minu vastus, seekord eesti keeles
Saabus selline tagasiside:
Hakkasin just järjekindlalt teie veebipäevikut lugema ja mulle ilgelt meeldib. Sinu ja Irja lugu teineteiseleidmisest on inspireeriv. Ja ma väga imetlen teie mõlema julgust olla teie ise, mõelda oma peaga ning astuda vastu Eesti (ja mujalgi) ühiskonnas laialt levinud võltsvagadusele ning pööblimoraalile. Otsustasin kirjutada, sest mulle tundus, et siin <http://innojairja.blogspot.com/2008/05/hi-we-are-now-international.html> leiduv üleskutse kehtib kõigi kohta, mina kaasa arvatud, kes on enda jaoks teie blogi avastanud ja kes ka hindavad sarnaseid väärtusi. Üks inspireeriv tsitaat ühelt mu tuttavalt kehtib väga hästi nende kohta, kes ka teie väärtusi jagavad: "People with your values are everywhere, but they're invisible." Ja mis teha kui tabudesse ja puritanismi takerdunud ja muidu konformistlikud tüübid ei tee elu lihtsaks neil, kes julgevad olla avalikult nemad ise. Te olete seda isegi kogenud. Aga siiski katsumustest võitjatena välja tulnud. See väärib respekti. Mulle kui nooremale tüübile kes alles otsib ja avastab ennast pakuks küll huvi teie kui vanemate ja elukogenumatega dialoogi pidada.
Ma tahaks Sinult, Inno kui teenekalt ajakirjanikult küsida nats nõu. Loodetavasti ei võta tükki küljest. Sa oled väga teravalt kritiseerinud Eesti ajakirjandust ning just hiljuti kirjutasid, et Eesti on meedia-populistlik riik, kus ajakirjandus sisuliselt vaid lakub korrumpeerunud võimu perset, nagu ma olen üldiselt Sinu jutust aru saanud. Sa oled ka teravalt kritiseerinud TÜ ajakirjandusteaduskonda eesotsas Marju Lauristiniga. Oletame et mul on eesmärk õppida ajakirjanikuks. Ma resideerun Tartus sestap loogiline et suvel seaksin sammud TÜsse sisseastumiskatsetele. Soovitaksid sa siis tegelikult mul seda mitte teha? Et kõik kes lõpetavad TÜ, nende loomingulisus, mässumeelsus või lihtsalt väheke vabamõtlejalikud tendentsid on lämmatatud, nendest on drillitud sõnakuulekad konformistid, argpükslikud pugejad ning korrumpeerunud sellout'id, kes siis hakkavad meedias hoorama seda, kel iganes võimu ja mõjujõudu? Et siis on võimatu õppida Eestis ajakirjanikuks ja saada selleks ning samal ajal säilitada soliidsed väärtused ning isiklik integriteet? Ons parem idee õppida ise ja lugeda erialast kirjandust omal käel ning ise praktiseerida? Või ehk üritada välismaale õppima saada? Või soovitaksid mul žurnalistiks hakkamise idee üldse maha matta? Et ehk on see Eesti meedia kui kuratlik vesiliiv mis neelab alla kõik vähegi normaalsed tüübid ja sülitab nad meediaprostituutidena välja?
Muidu soovin teile mõlemale ilusat jätkuvat Ameerika reisi. Et olge siis tublid ja terved,
E.
Ja minu vastus:
kõigepealt muidugi tänud tagasiside eest!
Mis ajakirjanduse õppimisse puutub, siis kindlasti soovitan TÜ ajakirjanduse õhku nuusutada, kasvõi silmaringi laiendamise huvides, aga tasub kahtlemata teadmised ja oskused omandada välismaal, kasvõi Soomes, kus ajakirjanduskoolitus, eriti online-alal on ka maailma mastaabis väga kõrgelt arenenud, näiteks Tamperes. Ja iseõppimine ning lugemine on kahtlemata teadmiste omandamiseks kõige efektiivsem ja mugavam, kuigi mingit paberit selle eest keegi ei anna.
Žurnalismi ideed maha matta pole mõtet, sest see on hea amet inimestele, kes on loomult keskmisest uudishimulikumad ja püsimatumad. Kes ei talu rutiini. Ja ma ei usu, et Eestis see kirjaldatud nadi olukord lõpmatuseni kestab, Lauristini pesakond sureb varsti välja ja peale tulevad uued inimesed. Paljud neist, loodetavasti, ka välismaal õppinud. Tartust võib saada kunagi veel väga hea ajakirjanduskool. Ja Eestist tugeva ajakirjandusega riik. Kus on tugevad demokraatlikud traditsioonid.
Hakkasin just järjekindlalt teie veebipäevikut lugema ja mulle ilgelt meeldib. Sinu ja Irja lugu teineteiseleidmisest on inspireeriv. Ja ma väga imetlen teie mõlema julgust olla teie ise, mõelda oma peaga ning astuda vastu Eesti (ja mujalgi) ühiskonnas laialt levinud võltsvagadusele ning pööblimoraalile. Otsustasin kirjutada, sest mulle tundus, et siin <http://innojairja.blogspot.com/2008/05/hi-we-are-now-international.html> leiduv üleskutse kehtib kõigi kohta, mina kaasa arvatud, kes on enda jaoks teie blogi avastanud ja kes ka hindavad sarnaseid väärtusi. Üks inspireeriv tsitaat ühelt mu tuttavalt kehtib väga hästi nende kohta, kes ka teie väärtusi jagavad: "People with your values are everywhere, but they're invisible." Ja mis teha kui tabudesse ja puritanismi takerdunud ja muidu konformistlikud tüübid ei tee elu lihtsaks neil, kes julgevad olla avalikult nemad ise. Te olete seda isegi kogenud. Aga siiski katsumustest võitjatena välja tulnud. See väärib respekti. Mulle kui nooremale tüübile kes alles otsib ja avastab ennast pakuks küll huvi teie kui vanemate ja elukogenumatega dialoogi pidada.
Ma tahaks Sinult, Inno kui teenekalt ajakirjanikult küsida nats nõu. Loodetavasti ei võta tükki küljest. Sa oled väga teravalt kritiseerinud Eesti ajakirjandust ning just hiljuti kirjutasid, et Eesti on meedia-populistlik riik, kus ajakirjandus sisuliselt vaid lakub korrumpeerunud võimu perset, nagu ma olen üldiselt Sinu jutust aru saanud. Sa oled ka teravalt kritiseerinud TÜ ajakirjandusteaduskonda eesotsas Marju Lauristiniga. Oletame et mul on eesmärk õppida ajakirjanikuks. Ma resideerun Tartus sestap loogiline et suvel seaksin sammud TÜsse sisseastumiskatsetele. Soovitaksid sa siis tegelikult mul seda mitte teha? Et kõik kes lõpetavad TÜ, nende loomingulisus, mässumeelsus või lihtsalt väheke vabamõtlejalikud tendentsid on lämmatatud, nendest on drillitud sõnakuulekad konformistid, argpükslikud pugejad ning korrumpeerunud sellout'id, kes siis hakkavad meedias hoorama seda, kel iganes võimu ja mõjujõudu? Et siis on võimatu õppida Eestis ajakirjanikuks ja saada selleks ning samal ajal säilitada soliidsed väärtused ning isiklik integriteet? Ons parem idee õppida ise ja lugeda erialast kirjandust omal käel ning ise praktiseerida? Või ehk üritada välismaale õppima saada? Või soovitaksid mul žurnalistiks hakkamise idee üldse maha matta? Et ehk on see Eesti meedia kui kuratlik vesiliiv mis neelab alla kõik vähegi normaalsed tüübid ja sülitab nad meediaprostituutidena välja?
Muidu soovin teile mõlemale ilusat jätkuvat Ameerika reisi. Et olge siis tublid ja terved,
E.
Ja minu vastus:
kõigepealt muidugi tänud tagasiside eest!
Mis ajakirjanduse õppimisse puutub, siis kindlasti soovitan TÜ ajakirjanduse õhku nuusutada, kasvõi silmaringi laiendamise huvides, aga tasub kahtlemata teadmised ja oskused omandada välismaal, kasvõi Soomes, kus ajakirjanduskoolitus, eriti online-alal on ka maailma mastaabis väga kõrgelt arenenud, näiteks Tamperes. Ja iseõppimine ning lugemine on kahtlemata teadmiste omandamiseks kõige efektiivsem ja mugavam, kuigi mingit paberit selle eest keegi ei anna.
Žurnalismi ideed maha matta pole mõtet, sest see on hea amet inimestele, kes on loomult keskmisest uudishimulikumad ja püsimatumad. Kes ei talu rutiini. Ja ma ei usu, et Eestis see kirjaldatud nadi olukord lõpmatuseni kestab, Lauristini pesakond sureb varsti välja ja peale tulevad uued inimesed. Paljud neist, loodetavasti, ka välismaal õppinud. Tartust võib saada kunagi veel väga hea ajakirjanduskool. Ja Eestist tugeva ajakirjandusega riik. Kus on tugevad demokraatlikud traditsioonid.
Seedy secrets of Estonian Reform Party
Estonian MP Jürgen Ligi (front right) and his mistress Jekaterina Ljubobratets, picture from Eesti Ekspress weekly, taken during the election night in 2007.
Politics and media make strange bedfellows. Vanity Fair's Craydon Carter is relentless in criticizing George W, his monthly column talks mostly about him, and that is how things should be - those with power should be watched.
Finnish foreign minister Ilkka Kanerva was forced to step down from his office because of the media strom that followed his dalliances with a stripper named Johanna Tukiainen. Kanerva lost his job because of some measly sms-s where he said that he'd wait for the stripper "behind the tree". Prime minister Matti Vanhanen does not have it easy too. His short affair with a dame who went on to write a book about the minister's sexual preferences has been Iltalehti's favorite topic.
In Estonia things are different. Here we have our minister of justice, Rein Lang who is having an affair with his secretary Kairi Õun and minister of defence Jürgen Ligi who is having an affair with his adviser Jekaterina Ljubobratets. Everybody knows it, me and Inno have written about it in our blog, but the media is silent. It also happened that minister Lang came to our university town Tartu with his lover and when one innocent bystander started snapping photos of the drunk and wet minister and his lover, his lover yelled at the bystander: DO YOU WANT TO GO TO JAIL? The minister later declined to comment on anything and the media didn't push the subject. Our prime minister Andrus Ansip, a married man, has had a long affair with our minister of culture Laine Jänes, but again, nobody's writing about it! It is a scandal, certainly, would be in any other country, and if it happened in, say, our good neighbor Finland, Andrus Ansip would have been forced to resign. Not here, nope. And i tell you why.
Like i said, politics and media make strange bedfellows. Estonia has two media kings: Schibsted's Mart Kadastik and Ekspress Group's Hans H Luik. They determine what are the things the journalists can write about. And these two guys have lots of friends. Mart Kadastik's best buddy is prime minister Andrus Ansip and Hans H Luik's buddy is minister of justice Rein Lang. I'd like to point out that both Andrus Ansip and Rein Lang are the members of our governing party, the Reform. Which is why Reform party has been enjoying vast honey-glazed media coverage for a very loooong time. Hans H Luik was once a very enthusiastic journalist, creating the first independent weekly, Eesti Ekspress, but now that he's started dabbling in real estate, he's forgotten everything about objectivity, journalist's conscience and honesty. Lately all he's been doing is praising his friends and attacking his enemies. Oh, and since he has a cocaine-addiction, then sometimes he is busy with his legendary drug-parties.
I guess it never crossed Ilkka Kanerva's and Matti Vanhanen's head to inivite their lovers to work for them. Susan Ruusunen could have been Keskusta's political adviser and Johanna Tukiainen could have been Kokoomus's political adviser. You see, our ministers don't just take lovers, they make lovers their political advisers which is very clever because this way you don't:
a) have to pay to prostitutes because you can always have sex with your lover/adviser
b) your lover/adviser will work for you day and night
c) you'll be able to mix business with pleasure!!!
You have to hand it to our ministers, they certainly have fixed things favorably for them. And since they also control the media, there is nothing that could threaten them. Brilliant!
Our Reform Party and its leader, prime minister Andrus Ansip have also great tolerance for pedophilia and child molestation. Shocking? I'll explain. Lately there was one case i dealt personally with. One young girl Liis Haavel was taken into custody and jailed. She's accused of committing a crime, coaxing some elderly people to give their houses to her as a present, but of that later... I met Liis, she contacted Inno and asked for help, and she told me that her parents, prominent members of the Reform party, Hannes and Varje Haavel, doctors in Kuressaare have been making her life a living hell. She told me that her father, Hannes Haavel had been abusing her sexually since she was a 15-year-old-girl. I was horrified and posted a video of her confessions immediately at our blog. I expected that a scandal would erupt, that her father would be jailed, called into questioning, anything... What followed, was silence. A deep and rather resentful silence, as i sensed. Like we'd stepped on a rotten toe. And then - Liis was jailed. Before that, when Liis went to the police and asked that a criminal case be started about her father, the police shrugged and said: sorry, can do nothing. When she opened her mouth and told about the abuse, she was jailed. Again, i must remind you that her parents are prominent members of the governing Reform Party. The media, especially Schibsted's Postimees and Hans H Luik's Eesti Ekspress, they, who should have protected her, branded Liis a "born criminal" and applauded to her arrest.
Sometimes i think that i live in Soviet times when someone who spoke badly about Stalin was thrown into jail. When we wrote about Liis's case in our blog and defended her passionately, the police called us and questioned us both for two hours. Why do you write about her? Do you believe everyhting she says? the police officer asked. Shortly after that Liis was arrested and thrown into jail. They said that it was necessary because she didn't appear to the courthouse at appointed time. She didn't appear because her kid was sick. That was her first hearing. Liis is afraid that her pedophile-parents will now take control of her little kid. When i explained that to the police officer, he rolled his eyes and asked: But do you think that they are still pedophiles? I'd laugh if it didn't hurt so much.
Imagine that someone in Finland, say some politician's child came forward and said that her father was a child molester. It'd be all over the papers and the politician would be called into questioning immediately. When Casa Pia-scandal erupted in Portugal, even ministers were taken into custody and celebrity-pedophiles did not recieve any mercy from the media and judicial system.
In Estonia there was silence. And more silence which brings me to the question: are we a country that tolerates, no, even celebrates pedophilia? Where it's okay to molest children, if you are a member of the leading political party. Mind you, even Vladimir Putin would not get away with that!
And if yes, shouldn't we be called not Estonia, but Pedostonia?
Estonian PM Andrus Ansip and his mistress, Laine Jänes, picture from business daily Äripäev.
teisipäev, 13. mai 2008
What are the best Estonian hotels?
Villa Ammende, balcony of the main suite.
Leave us comments!
We have liked Ammende in Pärnu, EVE in Viljandi, Katariina in Rakvere, Pädaste on Muhu island. Unfortunately we haven't come upon hotels with good service and hospitality in the biggest cities, Tallinn and Tartu. Have you?
Describe, which hotels you have liked and which not. It could be of tremendous help to other visitors!
Inno & Irja TOP 10 hotels in Estonia (of most respected, we haven't visited Schlössle in Tallinn):
1. Ammende Villa (in Pärnu)- especially the suites, pleasant, warm atmosphere and sevice, personal touch, superb restaurant
2. EVE (in Viljandi)- a good classical hotel, pleasant rooms and suites, good restaurant
3. Pädaste (on Muhu island, next to Saaremaa)- great breakfast
4. Katariina guesthouse (in Rakvere)- very pleasant service, suites with jacuzzi for affordable prices
5. Olümpia (in Tallinn)- classical good hotel, for years, top-notch suites and deluxe rooms
6. Kalvi mõis (North-Estonian coast)- very luxurious suite, warm cosy atmosphere
7. Victoria (in Pärnu)- good service
8. Kolm Õde (in Tallinn)- historic atmosphere, large and comfortable beds even in standard rooms, good minibar
9. Lepanina hotel (SW coast of Estonia)- the best location for a hotel in Estonia, superb views
10. Domina Inn (in Tallinn)- a cosy hotel in central downtown
Ammende main suite.
Estonia- a true media-populist state?
Umberto Eco, a well-known philosopher recently warned (The New York Times Magazine) about media-populism, that is characteristic to Italy and maybe some other countries.
Maybe it is less known that media-populism, as described by Eco, has been developing for almost a decade in Estonia, the remote European state that breaks the news only when it is occupied, freed or attacked. But let's have a closer look to this tiny country. Where 10% of the population or about 100 000 people are non-citizens, with limited rights, most of them lived in Estonia their entire life, but who are treated like the Black in the USA in the beginning of the 20th century. Because they are of Russian, or some other ex-Soviet origin. And, really, nobody cares, because it is so remote.
And it is as media-populist as a country can be. The media-market is divided and thus governed between Schibsted, a Norwegian media group and local Ekspress Group. They have made agreements to co-operate, have mutual businesses, that publish and print almost all the magazines and newspapares in Estonia. And the combined group supports entirely the leading Reform Party. The head of Schibsted in Estonia, Mart Kadastik is a close friend to Andrus Ansip, the prime minister and head of Reform Party. Kadastik and the Schibsted Group help Ansip to deliver only good news about the government. And never criticize. There have been several issues about Ansip's dark past as a Communist leader, about his secret girlfriends, but all the stories have been dropped. The media in Estonia has become true servant of the government, thus enabling the government to overrun public opinion. And even the parliament, as described by Eco.
The only independent newspaper is the business daily Äripäev, bublished by Bonnier Group, but it is a niche publication, has low circulation and marginal influence on mainstream media and overall public opinion.
What is even more worrying, the true info about Estonia doesn't cross the borders. As long as foreign correspondents that have been assigned to Estonia rely only on local press. Technically they act as translators. And this local press is heavily biased.
Maybe it is less known that media-populism, as described by Eco, has been developing for almost a decade in Estonia, the remote European state that breaks the news only when it is occupied, freed or attacked. But let's have a closer look to this tiny country. Where 10% of the population or about 100 000 people are non-citizens, with limited rights, most of them lived in Estonia their entire life, but who are treated like the Black in the USA in the beginning of the 20th century. Because they are of Russian, or some other ex-Soviet origin. And, really, nobody cares, because it is so remote.
And it is as media-populist as a country can be. The media-market is divided and thus governed between Schibsted, a Norwegian media group and local Ekspress Group. They have made agreements to co-operate, have mutual businesses, that publish and print almost all the magazines and newspapares in Estonia. And the combined group supports entirely the leading Reform Party. The head of Schibsted in Estonia, Mart Kadastik is a close friend to Andrus Ansip, the prime minister and head of Reform Party. Kadastik and the Schibsted Group help Ansip to deliver only good news about the government. And never criticize. There have been several issues about Ansip's dark past as a Communist leader, about his secret girlfriends, but all the stories have been dropped. The media in Estonia has become true servant of the government, thus enabling the government to overrun public opinion. And even the parliament, as described by Eco.
The only independent newspaper is the business daily Äripäev, bublished by Bonnier Group, but it is a niche publication, has low circulation and marginal influence on mainstream media and overall public opinion.
What is even more worrying, the true info about Estonia doesn't cross the borders. As long as foreign correspondents that have been assigned to Estonia rely only on local press. Technically they act as translators. And this local press is heavily biased.
Estonia- a country lead by native-European tribe!
Who are the native-Europeans, the Indians of Europe, one may ask?! In comparison with the native-Americans, whose destiny was quite miserable, but as history (at least the written one) is always compiled by the winners, thus nobody really cares about the Big Bloodshed that was carried out in the Americas some centuries ago. And why care, after all as the result was USA, the strongest muscle in the world?!
Yeb, the native-Europeans are, supposedly, the Basks and Celts (or Gauls), who inhabited the central and southern part of present-day Europe, and Fenno-Ugrians, who lived in the northern parts, before The Great (im)Migration, that brought Germanic and Slav tribes to Europe, those bare-butts, who originally lived somewhere in the present-day India, and who were pushed west by the Hunns, or Mongolians. Germans first conquered southern Europe, the old civilizations of Greece and Rome, were introduced to clothes and other modern technology, e.g. Christianity and the art of war, made an agreement with Pope (or established their own?!) and moved forward to the North. Thus enslaving the native-Europeans of the North, Livs, Finns and Estonians for about 700 years.
And one of the native tribes, a tiny one, of less than 1 million, the Estonians, has survived all those slaughters and fought itself free after 700 years of enslavement! Isn't that quite a big achievement?! And Estonia is one of the few countries in Europe that is governed by native tribes, besides Finland, Ireland, and to some extent, France and Spain.
Yeb, the native-Europeans are, supposedly, the Basks and Celts (or Gauls), who inhabited the central and southern part of present-day Europe, and Fenno-Ugrians, who lived in the northern parts, before The Great (im)Migration, that brought Germanic and Slav tribes to Europe, those bare-butts, who originally lived somewhere in the present-day India, and who were pushed west by the Hunns, or Mongolians. Germans first conquered southern Europe, the old civilizations of Greece and Rome, were introduced to clothes and other modern technology, e.g. Christianity and the art of war, made an agreement with Pope (or established their own?!) and moved forward to the North. Thus enslaving the native-Europeans of the North, Livs, Finns and Estonians for about 700 years.
And one of the native tribes, a tiny one, of less than 1 million, the Estonians, has survived all those slaughters and fought itself free after 700 years of enslavement! Isn't that quite a big achievement?! And Estonia is one of the few countries in Europe that is governed by native tribes, besides Finland, Ireland, and to some extent, France and Spain.
iPhone- the end of the Nokia era
My gadgets: the new iPhone and old Nokia E60.
I bought my first iPhone recently, and the Yesss!!!-feeling I had resembles the one I had, when I got my first GSM-mobile, about 13 years ago, a Mobira Cityman. Produced by Nokia, a Finnish company that was (and maybe still is) world leader in mobile telephony, with Swedish Ericsson (you still remember this, once a world-famous brand?!). And that made Finland world famous, although Nokia was always regarded as a Japanese company.
Soon lots of companies followed Nokia, like Japanese gigants as Sony, then the Korean LG and Samsung, German Siemens, French Alcatel, US Motorola. But still, Nokia, like its models 2110 and 6110 remained the best phones the Earth has ever seen. Until dramatic drop in size of memory and micro-chips that lead to the era of smartphones, or actually small computers. And, in computer business, the flagship is Apple, that has the best operation system on Earth. And thus, it has the best smartphone. No?!
I have had an experience with Nokia's "smart" phones for years. And it has been a real pain in the ass. First, connecting Nokia to PC, and then to Mac, that has been a nightmare. And now, with iPhone, there is a device, that works seamlessly with my computer, and all other devices, like the headset. And it is beautiful, that is also important. And it WORKS, that can't be said about Nokia's devices. That act like PCs: sometimes collapse, and wind-up very-very slowly (even coffee doesn't help here!).
esmaspäev, 12. mai 2008
What to do with Estonian economy?!
A detail from Postimees.ee, the website Estonian daily newspaper.
Estonian ex-prime and author of the first economic reforms Mart Laar proposes to list the state owned companies. But is this the way out of the present situation, that resembles the one in Portugal some years ago: after joining the EU inflation is high due to convergation, but growth lags behind because of high government expenses. And the expenses mushroomed on low interest rates, that lead to huge bubble in real estate sector. But now, with rates twice as high the real-estate prices are plummeting, and so the whole economy.
Or is the solution bringing down government expenses, to the pre-bubble period? Plus flat tax rate for individuals and companies, let's say 15% as it is in Russia, or even 14%, as lower tax rate keeps returns high. Especially in post-Soviet states, whereas stealing from the state is regarded as heroism, not crime.
Or, as Joakim Helenius, a Finnish businessman in Estonia has pointed out, English as the second state language in Estonia. That will help to bring in foreign businesses, rich people, and after them come the brains.
Just now, it seems, Estonia is on its track to marginalisation, becoming a backyard of the EU, as young professionals, the brains have drained away, the latest sweep after joining the EU, and there's nobody left to build up the country, and the economy. Well, and the elderly Estonians, who have stayed, are poor both in finances and health, as 50 years of Soviet unhuman totalitarian regime has leaved its wounds.
Estonia did join USSR
I am the daughter of a freedom fighter. My father Georg Vaher took up arms in 1944 to defend his country from the soviets. He was a 17-year-old boy and he, like many other young boys his age, responded to the appeal of admiral Johan Pitka who was organizing the resistance. But resistance was not what our president Konstantin Päts had in mind. He and his friend, general Johan Laidoner with whom he'd seized power in 1934, thought that it was far more profitable for them to let the soviets occupy our country than it was to resist the occupation. They were promised that they'd still be in power if they agreed to the occupation and the poor and greedy fools believed that. And so happened that Estonia let the soviets in, courteously, even opening the gates for the troops. Not a single shot was fired.
My father told me that the people had wanted to resist, men had wanted to take up arms and defend their homes and families, but that chance was taken away from them. The dictator and his military commander decided to collect all the guns, making the men defenseless. Proud officers were later slaughtered like lambs in Siberian prison camps. At least 30 000 people, somebody from almost every family, including children and the elderly were deported to Siberian working camps.
Estonians are somewhat afraid of this truth. It seems awful that our only president could have acted like this. That he was not "the father of our nation" but in fact the destroyer of that little freedom we had. Estonia became an idependent nation only in 1918. We'd had our precious freedom for 20 years, when it was taken away again - for 50 years. As a newly free state, naturally we've started searching for OUR "founding fathers".
I'd compare Konstantin Päts to Saddam Hussein. They both silenced the media and threw their opponents in jail. Okay, Päts did not actually kill people but when it comes to tyranny and lack of freedom, does it really matter if there is any blood?
My father told me that the people had wanted to resist, men had wanted to take up arms and defend their homes and families, but that chance was taken away from them. The dictator and his military commander decided to collect all the guns, making the men defenseless. Proud officers were later slaughtered like lambs in Siberian prison camps. At least 30 000 people, somebody from almost every family, including children and the elderly were deported to Siberian working camps.
Estonians are somewhat afraid of this truth. It seems awful that our only president could have acted like this. That he was not "the father of our nation" but in fact the destroyer of that little freedom we had. Estonia became an idependent nation only in 1918. We'd had our precious freedom for 20 years, when it was taken away again - for 50 years. As a newly free state, naturally we've started searching for OUR "founding fathers".
I'd compare Konstantin Päts to Saddam Hussein. They both silenced the media and threw their opponents in jail. Okay, Päts did not actually kill people but when it comes to tyranny and lack of freedom, does it really matter if there is any blood?
My America
I have a long relationship with the United States of America. Although i hate the war and i think that Saddam should have lived, i love America. It's been like my second home. And you can smell freedom in the air here.
You see, when Estonia was accepted into Soviet Union, my aunt Endla and her husband Rudy fleed from Estonia with their five-year-old daughter Ene. It was in 1944. They were shipped to a refugee camp in Oldenburg, Germany, but then they decided to go to America and make the country their home. They did not regret it. They worked hard and became millionaires. My father Georg who had a chance to leave as well decided to stay in Estonia and fight the soviets. He was 17 and an idealist. When the war ended, he spent 8 years in a Siberian prison camp, but he survived, came back, married twice and had 3 kids. My mother is my father's second wife.
All my childhood i heard stories about America. My father listened to the Voice of America. My aunt sent me lots of packages filled with beautiful clothes. My father went to America after he'd agreed to spy for KGB which he never did, and brought me lots of nice clothes. We didn't have nice clothes in USSR. Everything was ugly. The clothes, the houses, even the people. People were depressed because they couldn't express their opinions. They were angry like caged animals. Some of that depression and anger still lingers. I hope that someday we'll be able to rid ourselves of it.
My aunt said that one day i could come to America and one day i did. I was 17 and my aunt and his daughter, my cousin bought me lots of clothes. I would've liked to travel the country, see maybe Niagara Falls and the Grand Canyon, but there was no time because we couldn't miss the sales. My cousin loved shopping. She took me shopping from 9 to 5. It was excruciating but she meant well. She was a beautiful woman who loved politics and afghan men.
When my aunt died four years ago, my cousin became so depressed that she was not able to survive without the painkillers. She died of an overdose like Anna-Nicole Smith. She was the daughter of millionaires. Money is not everything, you see.
When she died, i inherited lots of money. Millions in estonian money. Me and my husband had dreamed of opening a café at my grandfather's house in Tartu, so we started renovating it, and our second dream was to travel all over the United States of America, from coast to coast. Now we are doing just that and we've arrived to Atlanta, Georgia. America has not disappointed us. So far we've loved Savannah, San Antonio and San Diego the best, but of our American experience i'll write more tomorrow!
You see, when Estonia was accepted into Soviet Union, my aunt Endla and her husband Rudy fleed from Estonia with their five-year-old daughter Ene. It was in 1944. They were shipped to a refugee camp in Oldenburg, Germany, but then they decided to go to America and make the country their home. They did not regret it. They worked hard and became millionaires. My father Georg who had a chance to leave as well decided to stay in Estonia and fight the soviets. He was 17 and an idealist. When the war ended, he spent 8 years in a Siberian prison camp, but he survived, came back, married twice and had 3 kids. My mother is my father's second wife.
All my childhood i heard stories about America. My father listened to the Voice of America. My aunt sent me lots of packages filled with beautiful clothes. My father went to America after he'd agreed to spy for KGB which he never did, and brought me lots of nice clothes. We didn't have nice clothes in USSR. Everything was ugly. The clothes, the houses, even the people. People were depressed because they couldn't express their opinions. They were angry like caged animals. Some of that depression and anger still lingers. I hope that someday we'll be able to rid ourselves of it.
My aunt said that one day i could come to America and one day i did. I was 17 and my aunt and his daughter, my cousin bought me lots of clothes. I would've liked to travel the country, see maybe Niagara Falls and the Grand Canyon, but there was no time because we couldn't miss the sales. My cousin loved shopping. She took me shopping from 9 to 5. It was excruciating but she meant well. She was a beautiful woman who loved politics and afghan men.
When my aunt died four years ago, my cousin became so depressed that she was not able to survive without the painkillers. She died of an overdose like Anna-Nicole Smith. She was the daughter of millionaires. Money is not everything, you see.
When she died, i inherited lots of money. Millions in estonian money. Me and my husband had dreamed of opening a café at my grandfather's house in Tartu, so we started renovating it, and our second dream was to travel all over the United States of America, from coast to coast. Now we are doing just that and we've arrived to Atlanta, Georgia. America has not disappointed us. So far we've loved Savannah, San Antonio and San Diego the best, but of our American experience i'll write more tomorrow!
They are leading the Estonian nation
Look and surprise: one of the leaders of Estonian leading Reform Party, head of Kohtla-Jarve region Ken Koort and his birthday "dance" last weekend in Club Eden, Tallinn turned out really amazing. First drunk Kristiina Ojuland (Estonian Deputy-Speaker of Parliament) having a dance with mr Koort:
From Postimees web.
Then Olga Shlyk, the V.I.P. adviser of minister of ethnic affairs Urve Palo, having a cocktail and cigarette:
Again from Postimees web.
And the hero showing his butt and kissing ms Shlyk:
And again from Postimees web.
Yep. This is Estonia. You are never surprised, but sometimes it is a shame to be Estonian.
From Postimees web.
Then Olga Shlyk, the V.I.P. adviser of minister of ethnic affairs Urve Palo, having a cocktail and cigarette:
Again from Postimees web.
And the hero showing his butt and kissing ms Shlyk:
And again from Postimees web.
Yep. This is Estonia. You are never surprised, but sometimes it is a shame to be Estonian.
Estonian leading blog now in English!
Me and my husband Inno in Hay-Adams hotel (with White House View!) drinking champagne on Inno's birthday a couple of weeks ago in Washington, DC, during the first days of our coast-to-coast trip to the US.
We are a couple from Estonia who created a blog that became immensely popular in our own country. Some people loved it, some hated it, it caused quite a stir and shook up our little society, gnawed its roots. Some people were even fired because of it... We've loved every second writing it and i believe that our fans have loved reading it too. So far we've only blogged in estonian but now that our friends abroad have asked us to write something in english, we've decided to do just that. So here it is! Our first entry in english.
My name is Irja and my husband's name is Inno. I'm 31 and he is 38. I'm half finnish, half estonian and he is estonian. We met three years ago in a university city named Tartu, at a street café. He was sitting there with some of his friends, on the run from his wife... He was married to the most formidable woman in Estonia, i was dating a portuguese playboy who was about to propose to me. I was about to leave for Portugal, for good... But then we met, his friends introduced us and from that day we became unseparable. He didn't return home, i canceled my flight. His wife tried to get him back, booked him a psychiatrist and told my brother to tell me to leave him. The psychiatrist and my brother, they both tried but we didn't listen. My playboy wrote me an angry letter that was supposed to make me go back to him but i didn't listen. I told him that i was in love. He didn't understand but i didn't care. All my life i'd done what people had expected of me. All his life he'd tried to please people. First his father, then his wife. We'd grown tired of that. We'd grown tired of life that's sole purpose was pleasing others. Some people called us selfish; we like to think that we are free.
We like to tell the truth, tell our honest opinions. Say what we think. And that angers people. Especially in a small country like Estonia which is basically like a village where everybody knows everyone. Like i said, we've caused quite a stir... When we attacked the media, the witch-hunt started. I didn't tell you that his wife, the most formidable woman in Estonia at that time, was also the chief-editor of the most-read celebrity-mag. She used all her connections to silence us. Our only chance to defend us was to start blogging. So we have to thank Ingrid for the immense success of our blog. When she got the boot, and for that, i'm afraid, we are greatly responsible, the media started showing us some respect. It proves that if you do something that you really believe in and if you do it long enough, so that others start believing in it too, you can really change something. You can even cause a small revolution. Become a phenomena in a small northern country that's priding itself on its economic prowess but is still following the cultural norms of the middle ages. Estonia.
Then again, why limit yourself to just your own country. We want to reach out. Chances are that there are people in the world who think just like us. Who treasure freedom just like us. We want to find these people. Maybe YOU are these people. We want to hear from you, talk to you. So we invite you to read this blog and write to us. We think that in order to be happy you have to be free and you have to be with someone who is your lover and your best friend. We belive in freedom of speech and in breaking taboos. People should be able to talk about everything. I believe that this is the essence of freedom, the ability to talk about your innermost feelings and not be ashamed of them. On the contrary, courage should be applauded.
pühapäev, 11. mai 2008
Ostsin iPhone'i ja olen rahul
iPhone.
Ostsin üleeile Dallasest Apple'i poest omale iPhone'i (Oleme praegu Jacksonis, Mississippi osariigi pealinnas, ühes imearmsas hotellis Fairview Inn, mille leidsime Conde Nast Johansensi kataloogist. Irja tudub armsalt, ma ei hakka teda üles ajama, tal on täna sünnipäev!)
Olin seda ostu pikka aega seedinud, sest ma polnud päris kindel, et see ka töötab. Ja võibolla sellest uudishimust sai see ost lõpuks tehtud. Riski peale välja minnes. Ja ma pean ütlema, et risk õigustas end. Ja ma ei kahetse. Tegemist on väga hea riistaga.
Vestlesin eelnevalt, mõned nädalad tagasi ka Apple'i poe töötajaga, New Yorgis, kes ei öelnud ei ega jaa selle peale, kui ütlesin, et tahaks osta iPhone'i, aga selle kohe nö lahti murda ja kasutada Eestis. Ta ütles, et Apple teenib suure osa rahast ka selle eest, et annab teatud firmadele eksklusiivsed õigused ja lahtimuukimise korral jääb Apple sellest rahast ilma. Nii et pole päris eetiline lugu. Samas sai ta aru sellest, et kui Eestis muud moodi tõesti kasutada ei saa, siis pole midagi teha. Ametlikult Apple sellist tegevust ei soosi. Aga mitteametlikult küll, sest miks muidu on iPhone'id USAs Apple'i esindustes müügil, kui neid saab kasutada vaid AT&T võrgus.
Ja nii ma siis vahepeal seedisin seda teemat. Et kas on vargus või ei, selle iPhone'i kasutamine, lahtimuugituna. Samas pakub sellist teenust ka AT&T, kui osta selle firma esindusest telefon, ja maksta 200 dollarit "valuraha" lepingu ennetähtaegse lõpetamise eest. Samas saab asja Apple'i poest kätte ilma mingi valuraha ega lepinguta. Ja miks maksta telekomifirmale teenuse eest, mida ma ei kavatsegi tarbida?! See ei oleks millegagi põhjendatud.
Poes polnud saada 8GB mudelit, seega tuli võtta 16 GB mudel, veidi enam kui 500 dollari eest (499 pluss maksud). See on ligi 100 dollarit kallmi kui 8GB mudel, aga loodetavasti läheb seda lisamälu vaja.
Siis silitasin seda riista peos ja hakkasin uurima, kuidas saaks seda lahti muukida. YouTube'i üles pandud juhised ja tarkvara (tasuta) ei tundunud eriti usaldusväärne. Küll aga sain teada, et asi käib suht kähku. Siis surfasin veidi veebis ja leidsin ühe brittide saidi, sellise külje:
mis tundus küllalt usaldusväärne, nad reklaamivad, et nende tarkvara kasutavad ka Apple'i enda töötajad. Usaldusväärsust tõstis see, et nad küsivad teenuse eest raha, 35 naela koos maksudega ehk miski 700 krooni. Mul on varem olnud negatiivseid kogemusi tasuta tarkvaraga, kuna kipub olema nii, et kui ei küsita raha, siis ka ei vastutata, et asi töötab. Ja nagu selgus, ongi väärt tarkvara, mis võimaldab kasutada kõiki iPhone funktsioone ka muudes võrkudes, seejuures töötab kõige uuema iTunesi versiooniga. Mis on väga hea. Laadisin tarkvarajupi alla, siis laadisin telefoni uusima iTunesi versiooni (iPhone kasutab toimimiseks Apple'i populaarset iTunesi tarkvara, lisaks muule saab selega veebist muusikat alla tirida), panin selle tarkvarajupi käima, vahetasin telefoni sees olnud AT&T sim-kaardi koduse EMTi oma vastu (tõsi, mul polnud kirjaklambrit käepärast ja veidi raske oli sim kaardi pesa kätte saada, lõpuks see siiski õnnestus haaknõelaga) ja, bingo!, kõik toimis! Olin isegi üllatunud.
Ja nüüd olen iga päevaga üha rohkem üllatnud kui hea riist on iPhone. Ta erineb teistest nn nutitelefonidest, esiteks kasutusmugavuse poolest, kuna tal on suur puutetundlik ekraan. Lausa lust kasutada. Pole vaja mingite klappide või asjadega jännata. Siis muidugi teeb rõõmu, kui hästi ta ühildub Mac arvutiga. Õigupoolest ongi iPhone'i puhul tegemist arvutiga, pisi-Maciga, millega saab edukalt surfata veebis üle Wi-fi võrgu, lugeda ja kirjutada meile, vaadata YouTube'ist videosid, kuulata muusikat. Ühildub, vähemalt Maciga, seamlessly, nagu Apple'i toodete puhul tavaks. Ma viskasin oma senise Nokia e60 kohe nurka, sest see on ikkagi telefon, Nokia on telefonide tootja, ja peaks oma liistude juurde jääma. Pole vaja toppida nina arvutiasjandusse, kui ei oska. Sest, vähemalt selle Nokia e60 kasutamine oli tõeline pain in the ass. Kõik on nii paganama keeruliseks aetud. Kes on Nokiat kasutanud, need teavad, kui kuradima vaevaliselt ta ühildub PCga ja tal pole tarkvara Maci jaoks ollagi! Ja muidugi imepisike ekraan, millega arvuti-asju ajada on tõeline peavalu. Ma ei hakanud üldse proovimagi, ei kasutanud selle e60 puhul eriti mingeid muid funktsioone peale helistamise. Ja mul on tegelt Nokiast kahju, sest peale iPhone väljatulekut, tundub, on selle firma jaoks rong läinud. Sest tehnika areneb ja hea tootega peab kaasas käima hea tarkvara, mida Nokial pole. Ja ainus viga, mis Apple tegi, oli enda sidumine mingite teatud telekomifirmadega. Mis tuli ilmselt kartusest, et äkki inimesed muidu ei osta, turg ei võta vastu. Aga ostavad, ja kuidas veel! Kui on hea toode, ei tohi karta seda müüa! iPhone vallutaks kogu maailma mõne hetkega, kui neid telefone saaks igas võrgus kasutada. Umbes nii nagu on teinud seda Apple'i populaarne toode iPod. iPhone, muide, töötab lisaks muule ka iPodina.
Nüüd vaatan, kas saan kuskilt osta veel lisaks autolaadija, seda komplektis kaasas polnud. Ja bluetooth juhtmevaba kõrvaklapp, vaatasin, on ka väga äge müügis. Komplektis olid kaasas väiksed kõrvaklapid, kus juhtme sisse on peidetud ka väike telefon.
Ja mis mulle veel Apple'i puhul meeldib. Ta on stiilne! Praegu on iPhone'id vaid musta värvi, aga ma loodan, et peagi tulevad müügile valged, ja punased, või roosad, mis peaks kindlasti naistele meeldima. Siis saan sellise ka Irjale osta.
Siin veel mõned pildid iPhone'ist:
Tagumine külg.
Kõrvuti iPhone ja Nokia e60.
Ja teistpidi.
Meie kodukas iPhone ekraanil.
Inno ajab juttu Selle Luigega
Inno leiab Ameerikast üles Selle Luige ja ajab temaga juttu. Selle räägib oma kurvast saatusest. Video on nähtaval siin:
Irja ajab juttu Texase kauboiga
Irja kohtub ja ajab juttu Texase rantšopidaja-kauboiga. Küsib Selle kohta, kauboi juhatab Irja Selle jälgedele. Video on siin:
Tellimine:
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